Why I’ll Never Be Blog Famous

politics

Five reasons I’ll never get to the A–list (not that I wanted to go).
1. I didn’t start in 2004. For whatever reason, there are very few people who started blogging in a year other than 2004 that are any all that popular. Back then, anybody with a brain and a political slant could get readers. Now you have to actually be able to write. Plus, there are the social networks, MySpace/Facebook, and other non–porn distractions abound, so it’s tougher to get eyeballs on your site.*
2. I don’t have a book deal. Ever wonder how those “new, fresh voices” get 18 zillion hits in their first week? It’s because of the book they wrote. Or because of the album they recorded. Or because of the movie they starred in/directed/produced/shot on a shoestring budget. Point being, people don’t get famous on the internet without some kind of market pressure.
3. I won’t take a side just to win. I have, of course, but not all the time. To become all internet famous, you have to be polarizingly–polemic. It comes from my personality as a realist, so I tend to describe things as they are, regardless if they help or hurt my cause. In fact, you could tell more about my opinion on something by what I don’t write than what I do.
4. I don’t suck up. I swear, if I ever see one of those Instalanche! things again, I’m gonna get sick. Somebody once said (about scoring a touchdown in football), ‘act like you’ve been there before.’ The meaning being that if you expect to widely read, that sort of thing will happen. While it’s nice to get the big link from Traffic Santa™, I don’t recall ever being thanked for the MacStansburyalance.
5. I don’t do stuff that draws traffic. Like lists. Since putting back on the oppressive mantle of ‘blogger,’ the most heavily trafficked post to this site is the Google–baiting link to IowaHawk. Other than that, I require people to actually read the content, then make their own informed opinion. This anathema to the greater blogosphere, where jabbing sound–bites are the norm.
BONUS! Extra Reason: I don’t cuss. For whatever reason, vulgarity sells. So does naked ladies (see previous link), but I digress. I think it appears unprofessional to use foul language, and shows a lack of class and civility. Then again, that’s the entire point of the blogosphere, isn’t it?
*I started in 2003, too early. Those archives will probably never see the light of day again.

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