Archive for July, 2009

Obama Birth Documents: Forged

politics / security

I opened Microsoft Word, set the font to Microsoft’s Times New Roman, then changed it to Times, then changed it back, then typed the rest of the document purportedly from the personal records of the late surgeon Jerry B. Killian.

And my Microsoft Word version, typed in 2009, is an exact match for the documents trumpeted by Robb Allen as “authentic.”

A screenshot of the “original” document as found at Sharp as a Marble:

Obama Memo original

A screenshot of my Microsoft Word document:

Obama Memo WORD

The spacing is not just similar—it is identical in every respect. Notice that the date lines up perfectly (well, come on, it’s a little crooked, give me a break), all the line breaks are in the same places, all letters line up with the same letters above and below, and the kerning is exactly the same. And I did not change a single thing from Word’s defaults; margins, type size, tab stops, etc. are all using the default settings. The one difference (the red squiggly lines under the misspelled words) is probably due to a slight difference between the Mac and PC versions of the Times New Roman font, or it could be an artifact of whatever process was used to artificially “age” the document (or could be because I forgot to turn off spell–checking).

There is absolutely no way that this document was typed on any machine that was available in 19–whenever–Obama–was–born.

UPDATE: You know what would really make this post sing? Animation!

Obama Memo the proof

UPDATE: Not singy enough. Still needs something. Hmm.

I know!


Obama Memo Drudge–style

Take that mainstream media!

/ / /

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You might as well stop the Internet now

education / environment / religion / technology

I’m being completely serious about this.

After watching this video, is there anything left to see?

Seriously, it’ll stop the way you think about everything.

Click this link


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Anecdotal Muzak Story

environment / technology

Whilst working, early this morning, a local radio station played in the background. Normally a good mix of happy songs, there were some terrible, terrible songs in the rotation for this morning. Stupid, sappy, late–70s love songs. It was horrifying, and it didn’t enhance my effort at all.

As I ate lunch, yet another radio station played in the background. The first song that came on was John Denver’s ‘Thank God I’m a Country Boy,’ so I figured things were not going to get any better. I was wrong.

After I got my burger, I heard the characteristic open sounds of one of the greatest songs in the history of mankind: Shaft!

Yes, I love that song…maybe a little too much. But if loving Shaft is wrong, I don’t want to be right! Or live in the 21st century, for that matter.

Then some hippies (I swear, none of them older than 21, none of them wasting more than $5 on shaving gear in their lives) walked in. After the group sat down, the waitress asked them what they wanted to drink, left, and returned, she asked them if they “knew what they wanted?”

“…besides a haircut?” I added.

Then I spent the next three minutes trying to act like I was trying to get something out of my beard as to cover up my hysterical non–laughing.

Hippies? Shaft? The 70s?

It was funny to me, anyways.

More sounds of shaftness

  • Feature film version here
  • Parody version about taxes (yes, taxes) here

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Sidekick. Dirt. Rednecks.

education / environment

Over the course of many years, I’ve had the pleasure of posting many videos on this, and other blogs. But today, I find the rare pleasure of linking to one that must be viewed in it’s own environs, as there is nothing I could — or would — want to add to this great sociological experiment.

Involving rednecks.

And beer.

And a car.

And a ramp.

You can probably figure out what happens next.

“Guy jumps his Sidekick off some home made dirt ramp.”

/ /


Just…don’t ask

environment / religion / security

Shaq, panda, discretion

I don’t know what’s going on here either, folks. There appears to be a panda, Shaquille O’Neal, and…well, that’s about it. I figured I’d make me my own personal Demotivator® and see how that worked out.

Click through to see the image at full Shaq–panda–size.


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The best blonde joke ever


There are joke, bad jokes, good jokes. Then there’s this one.

This is the greatest blonde joke in the history of man.

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I blame YouTube (MC Vader Edition)


Is there anything worse than when two of the things you remember from childhood colliding in one sad, sorry YouTube video?


No there isn’t.

I blame YouTube. And George Lucas. And MC Hammer.

/ / /

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Text Ascii Art Generator


It’s a lot more fun than it sounds, actually.

.-----..-----.|  |_ 
|  _  ||  -__||   _|
|___  ||_____||____|
|  |--..--.--..-----..-----.
|     ||  |  ||  _  ||  -__|
|__|__||___  ||   __||_____|
               __ __ __ 
.--.--..---.-.|  |  |  |
|  |  ||  _  | |_|  |  |
|___  ||___._|   |__|__|

Tremendous waste of time found here.

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I blame YouTube (Revival Edition)


I’m not really sure if I want to party hard, but it sure beats doing something productive with my free time.

I may or may not post anything ever again here.

/ / /

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