[MacStansbury]

Parentheticals make all the difference

2008-08-28T00:53:45Z

I don’t know what this means, but it’s funny. Laugh.

Click to embiggen

Twitter is useful for something I guess. Not much, but something. Pictures from New York, for instance. Crazy pictures. Crazy pictures from New York.

In other, completely non–crazy–pictures–from–New–York Twitter news, Alli wrote something hilarious on Twitter, but I can’t link to it because she protected her updates (I think). Just let me tell you, HILARIOUS. Truly.

Sorta summed up my feelings about my once torrid posting schedule.

funny, pictures
# Mark / Linked / Comments

Is Twitter lame?

2008-08-22T20:22:29Z

Seriously, I want to know.

I’ve been Twittering for a while, it just seems like the effort I make there would go better elsewhere. Like…anywhere else. Seems kinda data–silo–y to me.

Seems like everybody’s using it, thus decoolifying the platform. What is it that you, my countless legion of followers think? Is Twitter still cool?

meta, personal
# Mark / Linked / Comments

What you people really want

2008-08-20T17:09:54Z

Up to date local weather information. Expect to see about 800 new weather–related blogs in the next couple of minutes. Also expect this page to get some lovin‘.

carnival of open trackbacks, slow news day, weather
# Mark / Linked / Comments

I blame YouTube (Cop Fail Edition)

2008-08-20T14:53:05Z

Coming soon to a DARE program near you!

funny, video, youtube
# Mark / Linked / Comments

Tambureddu

2008-08-19T16:34:00Z

As you may or may not know, I heart blonde Italian ladies. No — really.

So any time I get the chance to post said…people…I do so, happily. And if said video with said person also includes a bunch of youthful street performers juggling and unicycling and dancing, how can I resist?

And did I mention the blonde Italian lady?

The song doesn’t make any sense to me (even with the translation), but who cares? It ain’t like that stopped me from posting something before.

hey guys(..),girls(..)come here(..),run here(..),
let’s go to dance pizzica
right on with guitars, right on with drums and let’s go all together to dance
When outside it is raining with the sun,
it is said that foxes get married
And when the rainbow arrives we dance pizzica pizzica poo
The sun is back, guys come here
The sun is back, guys run here
Let’s go to dance pizzica
With guitars
With drums
Let’s sing, let’s dance
Old men have to dance with old women
Young men with young woman
They have to give each other so many kisses dancing pizzica pizzica poo
The sun is back, guys come here
The sun is back, guys run here
Let’s go to dance pizzica
With guitars
With drums
Let’s sing, let’s dance

Translation of lyrics for us non–Italian speakers provided by Claudia Abbene.*

*No, I am not her, and no I do not know her.

Lip Dub - Tambureddu HD from Leonardo Dalessandri on Vimeo.

music, video, vimeo
# Mark / Linked / Comments

I blame YouTube (G Unit/Hitler Edition)

2008-08-19T02:29:04Z

You knew this was going to happen eventually. It’s like Godwin’s Law.

Godwin’s Law with Spongebob Squarepants.

fauxtrage, music, video, youtube
# Mark / Linked / Comments

Talking points

2008-08-12T03:12:11Z

Since I’m not feeling bloggy today, feel free to discus amongst yourselves.

The Olympics (my take: boring)
Russia is at war with Georgia
The John Edwards affair now acknowledged by the media
President Bush says to drill, price of oil plummets
Political stunt becomes movement, Republicans stay in D.C

If anybody needs me, I’ll be watching NFL preseason football.

congress, freedom, fuel, justice, liberty, media, meta
# Mark / Linked / Comments

All the Internet Memes

2008-08-08T20:20:00Z

Ever wondered what made the internet so popular? I mean, besides naked pictures of people. The answer is memes.

A meme is just an element of internet culture passed through imitation. Since people have so much free time (or, you know, are supposed to be working on those reports), creation and recreation of funny things takes precedence. The blogosphere is built on memes (most of which I hate).

Thankfully, somebody at Dipity decided to explain where all that nonsense about the cats and the pictures and the misspelled words came from. And an exploding whale. And that song about the Chronicles of Narnia from Saturday Night Live.

This is not going to make anybody more productive.

Click through to see what we wasted our time on instead of the reports (that were due in, like, 30 minutes ago).

funny, geekery, lolcats
# Mark / Linked / Comments

The Happening (South Park)

2008-08-08T20:15:39Z

At least we don’t have to worry about ManBearPig.

Right?

Right?

Right?

funny, slow news day, video
# Mark / Linked / Comments

Uh...

2008-08-08T19:06:05Z

Huh?

Nothing at all like goatse. Nothing.

barak obama, pictures
# Mark / Linked / Comments

Brett the Jet

2008-08-07T23:52:33Z

Sad.

And by sad, I mean Packers management.

Say, didn’t the Red Sox make a famous trade once?

outrage!, sports, television
# Mark / Linked / Comments

No Crisis Is Immune From Exploitation

2008-08-06T22:30:33Z

…“Under Bush.” So says Hillary ‘Mrs. Bill Clinton’ Clinton?!?:

There appears to be no crisis, tragedy or disaster immune from exploitation under the Bush administration.

So unlike 1993–2000. And that’s just while the Clintons were in the White House. Their shady dealings go way beyond just Mrs. Bill’s time in the White House.

Two points I wanted to make here: first, that this piece is like the kettle is calling the pot a kettle. Second, that who exactly is always exploiting these things? Let’s go down the list, shall we?

In the past few years, the number of corporations flocking to places like the Cayman Islands to evade U.S. taxes has exploded.

Like, say, China? You know, China. The formerly not–on–the–most–favored–nation–list–before–Mr.–Bill–put–them–on China.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but American businesses are in the business of making themselves money, not paying taxes.

In the weeks after Hurricane Katrina, for example, FEMA…

Did what they did on Bill Clinton’s watch.

Only faster.

While touting fiscal responsibility, President Bush and his administration have lined the pockets of political cronies like Halliburton and Blackwater. While calling for earmark reform, the president has allowed no-bid and questionable contracting throughout the federal government to dwarf earmark spending by a 10-to-1 ratio.

Quick, everybody, name a company that’s American owned that builds ports.

GO!

Alright, let’s check our answers. The correct answer to the question is…Haliburton. That would be the list. Hard to contract something to another company when another company doesn’t exist.

And earmarks? Are you kidding? Are you aware that the Democrats in Congress control spending? That’s the thing that galls me the most.

There’s more there to chide, but it doesn’t really matter. In calling for changes in the way government does business, she’s basically saying that the government (which has proven to be clumsy and inefficient) is the savior to our problems. To that, this quote from another famous American politician:

Government's view of the economy could be summed up in a few short phrases: If it moves, tax it. If it keeps moving, regulate it. And if it stops moving, subsidize it.

President Ronald Reagan

congress, freedom, liberty, socialism
# Mark / Linked / Comments

I blame YouTube (Muppet/Rammstein Edition)

2008-08-06T20:38:30Z

If you haven’t figured it out yet, I loves the YouTube. But the YouTube can seriously take hours of your life away. Hours better spent, like, curing cancer or something.

In showing my disgust for my misspent afternoon(s), I shall bring you, my most loyal readers (both of you), what I did instead of being productive.

fauxtrage, funny, geekery, video, youtube
# Mark / Linked / Comments

The girl in the window

2008-08-06T18:54:23Z

The family had lived in the rundown rental house for almost three years when someone first saw a child's face in the window.

A little girl, pale, with dark eyes, lifted a dirty blanket above the broken glass and peered out, one neighbor remembered.

Everyone knew a woman lived in the house with her boyfriend and two adult sons. But they had never seen a child there, had never noticed anyone playing in the overgrown yard.

The girl looked young, 5 or 6, and thin. Too thin. Her cheeks seemed sunken; her eyes were lost.

If you can get through the story of Danielle without tears, you are a robot.

liberty, pictures
# Mark / Linked / Comments

DNC launches 'Exxon-McCain ’08'

2008-08-06T18:35:17Z

Mike Allen at The Politico announces that the DNC is launching their own oil–based publicity stunt (complete with bumper stickers! Whoot!).

Yeah, thanks. While the Republicans are at least trying to get something done, the Democrats offer bumper stickers. Thanks. Really. I mean it.

RNC spokesman Alex Conant agrees:

The $2.8 billion that Obama gave the oil companies in the '05 energy bill would have bought a lot of tire gauges.

Indeed.

fuel, john mccain
# Mark / Linked / Comments

Paris Hilton’s Energy Plan For America

2008-08-06T03:12:45Z

A lot more robust that Obama’s plan. Which is, to say, is a plan.

Did I just say that Paris Hilton did something better than Obama? Yes. Yes, I did.

ADDED: Via me at Wizbang

Ben Stein is not amused (and yes, he's seen the tape!)
Althouse thinks it's a pro-McCain ad
Instapundit has a poll asking for support of Obama, McCain, and Paris Hilton. With somewhat predictable results

barak obama, celebrities, fuel, funny, john mccain, video
# Mark / Linked / Comments

They don’t know Kacey like I know her

2008-08-05T18:05:38Z

And by “know” I mean “search on Google for about 5 minutes”.

You know you don’t need to turn on the television, ever again, when you get stuff like this sent to you. Behold, the tale of Kacey Montoya: CBS 2 Morning Anchor.

Okay, so I sort of have a history of stuff like this, but I figure that this deserves special attention. The reason being, there, oh king of the MCPs*? Because Kacey Montoya, unlike the legion of blondes from the FOX News Mansion, works for CBS.

How she got away is a mystery. Did Roger Ailes buy CBS?

Anyways, here’s the best song ever written, from Kacey herself.

Hmm…good looks and the ability to upload to YouTube. Seems like time for me to work on my wedding proposal.

*Male Chauvinist Pig. You just don’t hear that much, anymore.

celebrities, fauxtrage, fox news, slow news day, television, video, youtube
# Mark / Linked / Comments

And it’s clearance priced!

2008-08-05T02:40:32Z

If it’s Aircraft Brand™, it has to be good!™

Is that supposed to get rid of smelly aircraft, or just aircraft that have low odor?

flickr, funny, pictures
# Mark / Linked / Comments

perspctv

2008-08-04T17:46:05Z

This widget shows data from perspctv, and they describe the site as [a]n exploration of internet activity in reference to mainstream media. Gain a unique Perspctv on the US Presidential Elections.

I’m always on the lookout for nifty gadgets to put on display (because some people just love sidebar goodies). Poll results are notoriously hard to define, but that doesn’t stop people from trying. Stat junkies like me get our addiction fix with stuff like this.

And on a totally unrelated note: how did I get through this many days without bashing Obama?

barak obama, blogging, blogosphere, geekery, john mccain, media, polls
# Mark / Linked / Comments

How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

2008-08-04T16:24:57Z

97%How Addicted to Blogging Are You?

I am so not in denial.

blogging, meta, personal
# Mark / Linked / Comments

Edwards and the Oxford Dictionary

2008-08-03T03:54:55Z

I wonder how dictionary entries are edited. For instance, what most people would consider a simple task — define the word ‘Edwards’. Not so simple, as it turns out.

This is so incomplete. Mark L. Ward, Jr. originally took this screenshot of the Mac OS X 10.5 Dictionary app, noting the Oxford Dictionary only focused on extremism:

Yeah, see, the other part of the screenshot will probably need revising, as well.

[Via]

apple, mac os x, pictures, words
# Mark / Linked / Comments

You won’t see this on the dinosaur media

2008-08-02T02:09:17Z

Republicans demand debate on drilling. Camera phone footage uploaded to show the obstinate Congressional Democrats. For those of us who believe in openness in government, internet is the quickest, most effective way to show the truth.

That’s why the Nancy Pelosi ordered the cameras shut off.

It’s good to know they can turn off the cameras, but we can still see the picture.

censorship, congress, fuel, media, video
# Mark / Linked / Comments

Lightly breaded

2008-08-01T16:41:05Z

Your All Knowing Gorgeous Sexy Empress of All Things Improper sent me some banana bread that I’ve been begging for since 2005 this week. It got here around 6 PM Wednesday night. It was gone by 11 PM Wednesday night.

I have no natural resistance to banana bread. I hope I am never entrusted with the security of the planet, or we’re one bakery away from total annihilation. But, I, for one, welcome our new baked–goods–wielding alien overlords.

I’m thinking this is going to somehow violate my crazy–people diet (eggs are meat, milk is also like meat). As much as I love banana bread (as well as our new baked–goods–wielding alien overlords), I probably don’t need to beg for any more.

flickr, food, personal, pictures
# Mark / Linked / Comments

Only In Dreams (Cowboy Bebop)

2008-08-01T06:28:12Z

Just a trip down memory lane for me. Found this video years ago before I got into ‘the blogs.’ Back then, the monumental size of the video file was enough to keep most people from hosting it, let alone share it publicly.

Now, if YouTube doesn’t play right away, we’re throwing shoes at the monitor. Times change. People change. But music stays the same.

Years ago, I’d joke with friends late at night, watching adult cartoons, and listening to ‘the alternative’ music. Cowboy Bebop was one of our weapons of choice. Weezer was, frequently, another. Mixing the two is potent for my memory.

Once again, I’m a drifting kid in Mississippi, wondering about his place in the world. A man divided between his culture, his loves, his alliances, his friends, and his own impending mortality. The terror attacks on September 11, 2001, removed what small bit of hope I had that I was going to make it out of this world alive.

That Automatic Dog

There’s a Welsh Corgi in the show that was a plot line of one of the episodes. It has some sort of computer chip or something inside him that makes him worth a lot of money. The folks on the show are bounty hunters (and broke ones, at that), and they have a fortune sitting at their feet.

One of my most frustrating/endearing qualities is holding to an idea if it will annoy somebody else. It’s not because I’m evil, it’s because it gives me something to goad my friends. When I made a mistake and said that they should just sell the ‘automatic’ dog (instead of ‘electric’), it was so on. The dog’s name is Ein, and that automatic dog has been my icon in some form or fashion since 2001.

It’s that automatic dog that helps me remember those days. Back when the world was so open, so frightfully full of wonder. It seems so very 21st century that I would use a cartoon avatar as the symbol of my youth. Holding on to my youth, actually. Holding on to the hope that only comes from sleepless nights, dreaming of the future.

Sometimes, I’d find hope. Sometimes I would dream. But it would never last.

music, personal, video, youtube
# Mark / Linked / Comments

Strippers, Iowa, and mad blog hits

2008-07-31T21:58:05Z

Look, people, for whatever reason, my blurb on an Iowahawk post is probably the most–viewed post in my return to bloggerdom. For the love of taco sauce, the entire time I lived in Iowa, there were never — never — even the remotest hints of anything even approximating interesting going on. Now the place is paradise.

Well, if you like that sort of thing.

Floods, corn, and illegal, underage strippers, I mean. That’s what Iowa is all about. Underage strippers who also happen to be the sheriff’s niece.

It all began on July 21, 2007, when a 17-year-old niece of Sheriff Steven MacDonald climbed up on stage at Shotgun Geniez in Hamburg and stripped off her clothing. Owner Clarence Judy was charged with violating Iowa's public indecent exposure law.

Judy responded that the law doesn't apply to a "theater, concert hall, art center, museum, or similar establishments" devoted to the arts or theatrical performances.

"Dance has been considered one of the arts, as is sculpture, painting and anything else like that. What Clarence has is a club where people can come and perform," said his lawyer, Michael Murphy.

Murphy noted that the club has a gallery selling collectible posters and other art, and it provides patrons with sketch pads.

I don’t know where to start with this one. Suffice it to say, somebody needs to un–loop that loophole before the tourism industry picks up.

censorship, outrage!, slow news day
# Mark / Linked / Comments

I learned this stuff in high school

2008-07-31T16:55:25Z

Just watching this today amazes me just how much I’ve changed. It looks like the Democrats bought this guy out lock, stock, and barrel in the 1960s. Back when I was in high school, they warned us about this sort of thing. Now they encourage it.

[Via]

barak obama, freedom, justice, liberty, privacy, socialism, video
# Mark / Linked / Comments

Packers offer Favre money to stay away

2008-07-31T06:24:51Z

In the only story that really matters, the Green Bay Packers want to end their long, national nightmare:

The Green Bay Press-Gazette reported on its Web site that the team offered Favre "a substantial salary" to stay away. The report cited sources close to Favre.

Who cares if this is a rumor? There’s more chess pieces moving in this game than in a season of LOST. The annoying thing is just how sanctimonious whoever it is in charge of the Packers has always been. They are, and have been for a long time, the worst–run organization in sports.

Can you tell a boy who used to live in Wisconsin, who hated all things 49ers, and saw the plague of Walsh disciples (which has yet to end) writes this site? Bitter, much? You betcha.

Oh no, there’s no Madden curse. Nope.

Speaking of which, Farve only improves teams that aren’t Green Bay.

sports, television
# Mark / Linked / Comments

50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill 2008

2008-07-30T18:40:07Z

Photos by Benjamin J. Myers. Pictured, left to right: Kristina Spiegel, Ivy Larsen, Emily Zammitt

It’s the time of the year get to vicariously ~~spy~~ survey the best part of Washington D.C.: the meat market. Yes, the 2008 edition of the “50 Most Beautiful People on Capitol Hill” is ready for your ogling pleasure.

For the umpteenth year in a row I have failed to make the list. I blame all you people who don’t vote for me. It’s your fault.

How am I supposed to engage in inappropriate conduct if I’m not even there?

celebrities, pictures, slow news day
# Mark / Linked / Comments

John Edwards May Have a Mistress

2008-07-30T18:01:33Z

It’s from the National Enquirer, so don’t expect to hear about it on any cable news channels or network TV. Well, except for maybe Other than FOX News. But that’s just because, ya know, there’s a story there. And a Democrat is involved.

But, you know, there’s the countless hours of Obama coverage. Also, the Republican scandal of Sen. Ted Stevens (R–AK). No time for a verified story about a former candidate for VP of the US.

Did I mention that Sen. Ted Stevens is a Republican? A total scandal.

UPDATE: Aaaaaaaand this is delicious.

fox news, media, schadenfreude, television
# Mark / Linked / Comments

The Difference (Liar Edition)

2008-07-30T17:30:15Z

Action

Saddam had no ability to make weapons of mass destruction.

Inaction

With every opportunity available, Obama played basketball instead.

barak obama, iraq, us army
# Mark / Linked / Comments