Archive for February, 2004

Friday Spoilers: Dirty Dancing

Published
by
John Stansbury
on February 27, 2004

Spoiler Alert!
This is just to warn you. I will be giving out advanced notice of something that happens in a movie that you won’t know unless I tell you, or you see the movie.

Pain. That’s the best way I can describe this.

One look at the old iCal movie board shows me that it’s time to put this review up. But I don’t have to like it! In fact, it is the most painful experience in my 54-some odd years of hosting Television and Film.

This week’s spoiler is for the movie Dirty Dancing Havana Nights is all about pain. My pain. The pain of having to view yet another movie that has nothing to do with the original, except the licence.

So, here’s the spoiler:

They dance dirty.

And not even Christina Augilera Dirrrty. At least then I could watch…

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Categorized:
Friday Spoilers

Friday Spoilers: Against the Ropes

Published
by
John Stansbury
on February 20, 2004

Spoiler Alert!
This is just to warn you. I will be giving out advanced notice of something that happens in a movie that you won’t know unless I tell you, or you see the movie.

Some weeks are weaker weeks then other weeks. Some weeks aren’t that weak, but the weak weeks make the un-week weaks seem weaker with week-y weekness. So you can understand my consternation when I have a week’s worth of movies with this amount of weekness. No, I meant weakness. It’s weak.

The week, not the misspelling. But that’s not the point. The point is that iCal is really letting me down this week.

This week’s spoiler is for the movie Against the Ropes. It’s a boxing movie. And if you know anything about how I feel about movies that have already been done…you can guess what I’ll say next.

So, here’s the spoiler:

The boxer wins.

But, you knew that already. We still aren’t getting new stuff out of Hollywood. Maybe I’m just jaded, but let’s not do Rocky over and over again. In fact, let’s stop all boxing movies altogether.

The last movie that had an innovative story was Snatch, a movie about boxing, but not all about boxing.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Categorized:
Friday Spoilers

Friday Spoilers: Trilogy

Published
by
John Stansbury
on February 6, 2004

Spoiler Alert!
This is just to warn you. I will be giving out advanced notice of something that happens in a movie that you won’t know unless I tell you, or you see the movie.

In the fifteen years I’ve been reviewing and spoiling the movie experiences for fans of all ages, I have never been so confused by something that seems so easy. I’ll explain.

This weeks spoiler is for not one, not two, but three movies that I will ruin for you. That is, of course, if I could figure out what in the world this movie, uh, movies is, uh, are about.

Magnolia Pictures gives us The Trilogy. In fact, there are three different movies, all with the same characters, doing the same thing in three different genres. And in all of them, I can never understand where the droids are.

I mean, really, how can you have a trilogy without hobbits, droids and/or Harrison Ford, the Enterprise, Superman, that guy from "Teenwolf," dinosaurs, the mafia, aliens, evil dead, cannibals, Neo, apes that evolved from man?!?, or Jay and Silent Bob?

So, here’s the spoiler:

You know, I can’t spoil this movie. Movies. Whatever.

Aren’t you satisfied with all the links? Isn’t that enough for you?

Okay, here’s another movie the lovely and talened iCal tells me: Miracle. It’s from Disney. Find it yourself.

This is the story of the US Olympic Hockey team from the 1980 games.

So here’s the real spoiler:

They win the game. It’s a miracle!

The thing that disturbs me most is how right Kurt Russel’s hair looks.

Have a great weekend, everybody!

*this is, in fact, a lie

Categorized:
Friday Spoilers

BSS “Work”

Published
by
John Stansbury
on February 5, 2004

I wrote a couple of weeks ago that I was "sorry I’ve been so late with this this week, but I’ve been involved in actual work, so I haven’t been getting this out." Now, not so much concerned.

So here’s the links to what Britney’s is in trouble for this week:

1. Disturbing report that Britney and Ben Affleck might make with the hooking up. I would never get any sleep then. Ever. Let’s hope it’s a rumor. Please.

2. Since this link seems to becoming the movie Britney wants to do this week, now we find out she wants to be a weakest link. Ever. I have no idea what it is, even. Sorry.

Categorized:
BSS