Archive for April, 2004

Friday Spoilers: Laws of Attraction

Published
by
John Stansbury
on April 30, 2004

Spoiler Alert!
This is just to warn you. I will be giving out advanced notice of something that happens in a movie that you won’t know unless I tell you, or you see the movie.

So here goes…

Blah blah blah Romantic Comedy blah blah Laws of Attraction blah. Blah blah blah Pierce Brosnan blah blah much better as 007 blah blah. Blah blah Julianne Moore blah blah better roles in the Hours, Magnolia Boogie Nights, the Fugitive, the Big Lebowski, the Hand that Rocks the Cradle, Nine Months, blah blah best role in the Ladies Man blah blah.

Blah blah blah generic old people blah blah career killing blah blah blah blah running out of cliches blah blah blah so just end it blah blah blah.

Blah blah so here’s the blah blah:

Blah blah fall in love.

Blah blah and be sure to “Tune in – watch Pierce & Julianne on T.V.!” blah blah grammar police blah blah oh…Court TV, now I get the Laws part, blah blah.

Have a great weekend, everybody. Blah.

Categorized:
Friday Spoilers

BSS Family

Published
by
John Stansbury
on April 22, 2004

While on military duty, I pledged to keep the world updated on what Britney is doing with her life. At the time, she was unmarried and mildly sane. And completely 100% Madonna-kiss free.

So here’s the dirt to what the Britney has did this week:

1. Remember that great baseball player, Michael Jordan? Neither do we. But now, the very hat he wore as a member of the Birmingham Barons is in Britney’s new video you think maybe it’s because of the B?!?

2. Hey, did I mention her new video yet? It’s funny that I even have to remind you’se peoples about that. You would think that more people would be so obsessive compulsive about it…like me. But the funny thing is how not funny the video is. In fact, the only funny thing is the tacked on Hollywood ending.

Yes, I know the link goes to a parody site, but is getting drugged up and drowned really the way to go?.

3. Obligatory "India, what would I do without ya?" But, man, can they dig up some good stuff. And tieing it to one of my spoilers? Genius! Behold! Tarantino loves Britney Spears!

4. Tour not so good. Do I even need to link to these any more? I want to link to stories like this one. That’s what the kids want to see these days…Edutainment. It’s good to see stories that don’t blast the Brit for making lame, ABC Family, made-for-basic-cable, TV movies.

Wait, did that say ABC Family? Awwwwwwwww crud!!!!! Guess this means well get reviews like this, or this, or this now. And on a side rant, does anybody not plagiarize these days?

Categorized:
BSS

Friday Spoilers: Kill Bill 2

Published
by
John Stansbury
on April 16, 2004

Spoiler Alert!
This is just to warn you. I will be giving out advanced notice of something that happens in a movie that you won’t know unless I tell you, or you see the movie.

So when I hear about the remake of Kill Bill, I couldn’t hate my iCal movie reminder whazzit even more than last week. In that spoiler, I said how that I don’t love comedy remakes of 70s TV shows that don’t have not even one of the original people from the show, and I used more correct gammar then an elephants would go to at. And I had did it again this week, too. As well.

So I’m messing with iCal and I get this thing with Kill Bill in it. And I think that I have seen it before. And while I reminisce about Monica-gate, I remember that there was a Kill Bill not too long ago. "That makes for easy spoilering," I thought to myself. Then I corrected myself, when I realized that if I’d gone through my usual thought process, like "Carter gets got" or "the King Returns," I’d really make a mess of things.

So for this week, it took me a while to get the right kind of foolery going on. And thus, more funk faking then a tap-dancing weasel. And you know how much that is…it’s a lot.

So, here’s the spoiler:

Bill gets killed.

And I know what you’re thinking…"didn’t he just say he wasn’t going to fake the funk, on a nasty dunk?" And when are you going to stop starting sentences with "and?" Well, can’t ever waste a good pitch coach used to tell the other players who actually could hit. Me, he told to lean into the ball…"it won’t hurt long," he’d say. It was there, right in the strike zone. I had to hit it.

And hit it I did! Right out of the park! And I know the truth, just let me dream, OK?

Have a great weekend, everybody!

Categorized:
Friday Spoilers

BSS TV

Published
by
John Stansbury
on April 13, 2004

Every week or so I like to keep the world updated on what Britney is doing with her life. And because stalking is so difficult when she’s on a world-wide tour.
So here’s the links to the Britney goodness for this week:

1. This is going too far. Britney TV. Wait, hold on, how is that a bad thing? Oh, when the budget per episode is $1 million US dollars. I’d still watch it, though.

And it’s about the Onyx Hotel tour. Ouch. At least nobody has OK’d it yet. Yet.

2. I quote the title of this story verbatim: People magazine, Spears get it right on Sept. 11. Yes this story has Britney doing something right. And yes, I checked again for accuracy. Britney does something right. Pierce Brosnan-take note!

3. Well, even though India has let me down, at least Google has something for me. Faithful viewers (meaning, um…me), know that there seems to be a Britney related story that comes out of India every week. But at least there’s a service called WebQuotes that Google Labs is testing out that lets you find out what people are saying about a web site. On the bottom of that page, Britney.

4. What is about New Hampshire that makes people do crazy things? It’s like the laws don’t apply to rogue bus drivers! Thank goodness a Cincinnati web site is on top of it. Bus drivers care about the law in the great state of Ohio. Or Northern Kentucky. Which is more of a Commonwealth then a state.

I’ll be quiet now.

Categorized:
BSS

Good Will BSS

Published
by
John Stansbury
on April 2, 2004

Every month or so I like to keep the world updated on what Britney is doing with her life. And because stalking is so difficult when she’s on a world-wide tour. And sick. And in Cleveland.

So here’s the links to the Britney goodness for this week:

1. Remember how I told you last week "The show must go on?" I said she’s was so brave. And hot. And while I still stand by what I said last week, some new news has come to light about the earlier stated stick-to-itiveness of our girl Britney.

2. Britney Spears, symbol of international good will. Yes, come see the American Female with the wiggling on stage with tons of homo-erotic symbolism and a full backup band. They do have a good band.

On a completely different note, I am so amazed at the musicians that America is pumping today.

<rant> Even with the decline in quality of music in the public school system I keep seeing talented musicians coming out from all over the place. I think the internet has actually done great things for modern pop music, even with all the stealing and all. </rant>

3. India, what would I do without ya? Even when I think there can’t be another story out there that is too trivial, even for a sub-continent, even on the other side of the planet, I keep getting stories like this.

4. What, I’m doing a fourth link now? Ok, since you asked nicely…HDTV used for good instead of evil. The only problem is that now you can see the dancers. And they might not all fall into the "good" category. But there’s still enough wiggling to make even the coldest heart of the proletariats warm with wiggle-icity.

Categorized:
BSS