Archive for August, 2006

For all of your wasting money needs

Guess who made up one of them Amazon aStore things?

No, not him.

No, not her. Not him either.

No, not him. No. Nope. Not him either.

You’re really lousy at guessing, you know that?

Try me.

No, not him, either. I meant me. No, it’s me. I created one.

NO, not her! Come on, it’s me! Me! ME!

You can see it here for now, with the mandatory tutorial whenever I get my incredibly lazy self to writing it. Which could be next June for all I do these days.

You say you wanted links? I’ll give you links!

Back when I started this essentially link-blog, after changing over from Textpattern, I used MiniBlog for a while. Then I started using a different category inside WordPress, then on to del.icio.us. The problem was, you couldn’t search the del.icio.us links here, you had to go there.

I found a way to publish the links on your site, I got the searchablity. That’s only for new links, so I used the HTML export for bookmarks, and posted the story in the Old Linkness link-dump.

One of the things that I didn’t not expect from the del.icio.us link posting in WordPress was that it automatically pings posts when it publishes. I couldn’t do that on a post with over 160 links, so I had to go into the WordPress options and turn off pinging. That, or I’d be incurring the wrath of countless folks with my flood-linking.

It’s done, now, and now it’s all over, except for the linking.

Now allowing for additional evil!

Two things I’ve done that I think will have lasting impacts:

1. Updated the primer on getting the Google AdSense for Search into WordPress to be less wrong and more not-wrong

2. Opened the old .htaccess file to allow all the German and Asian spammers back in

All in all I expect the hits on this site to go up by 40,000% in the next couple of minutes or so. UPDATE: And I was right.

Took ya’ll several minutes to get here, spammers…you’re slipping!

Bear with me if I disappear

Bear with me

Or if I move to another region of the country.

YIPES!

ADDED: Even more evil: ERNESTO Graphics Archive

UPDATE: I totally want a refund.

Worst. Hurricane. Ever.

Now showing: old links

Adding in one modification to my del.icio.us account, following the directions from here, I set up a daily posting of links from the del.icio.us to WordPress. You can find them all in the Linkness archive.

The reason for this is to make them searchable inside MacStansbury.com, and to show off another cool thing you can do with del.icio.us.

How to get your own DiggSig

diggsig

1. Sign up with Digg
2. Go to DiggSig.com and put in your user name
3. There is no step three

There’s no clear documentation, so it’s tough to tell just what’s going on. But I can tell you the number of Diggs is just a random number. Until they figure something better out, that’s what you get. Perhaps they’ll get is straitened out soon.

If you want to verify this, take a look at digg / MacStansbury. See? There I am, in all my IT glory, just waiting to be added to your friends. What that does, I dunno. I’m actually clueless on what friends does to help you, or hinder you, or add to the experience. In fact, other than the obvious, I don’t get most of the “cool features” are there for.

I’ve almost never used Digg, and I’ve been clicking the links for far longer than I’ve had an account. Thus, a rather lack of my involvement in the community. I’m sure if I didn’t have tons of other resources, didn’t know what Fark.com and del.icio.us and memeorandum were, I’d be glued to Digg every day. But I do have those other things, and I don’t use Digg as my link server every day.

As far as this well-rounded, journalistic journey into self-help nirvana: okay, not all the tutorials are world-changers, okay? I figured, for once, I’d make it easy on myself, and do the throw-away post. Here ya go. Just one more in the long line of fine-quality posts you’ve grown to expect from MacStansbury.com!

Mostly, this is a tutorial I could set up to backdoor some of my own personal ideas into a simple enough idea. The DiggSig is fun and all, but it’s not something I’ll ever think about. But it is something that’s good blog-fodder. And a tutorial to add on top of that? I’m telling you folks, it just can’t be beat.

Maybe somebody should submit this to Digg…then see what happens?

Me on relationships

Even Viagra Won't Help

Sadly, this is more true than you would expect. I’ve become more online than offline.

Blogging is a chore, not a lifestyle. It’s amazing how there’s some people who can make a living at this. Those people also sell books, or have video blogs, or have that talent you always hear about. Sadly, I’m not one of those people.

So, too, with relationships. Now, before you think that I’m going all bad-mouthy on myself, I’m being informational here. Through the many relationships I’ve had, they’ve always seemed to end long before they should. For whatever reason, I’ve never found Mrs. Right.

Ms. Right Now, sure, but not the one. That - magical one - the one that sets my life on fire - the one with whom I want to spend my life - the one I have these Shatner-like pauses - for - -…that girl. Or, maybe I have, and she hasn’t got the frying pan embedded deeply enough into my skull to get through to inform me that she is not completely disgusted by my appearance. Something like that.

The reason I even post this, is because I was going through some old links of a blog-buddy of mine, from a while ago. She (it’s always about a girl, isn’t it?) hadn’t changed a bit, smart, funny, teh hawtt, and worlds away. She was, and is, just a blog friend.

About two years ago, I stated, bluntly, that I was not a blogger. I guess I am sort of one now. Not a very good one, not one who comes up with either wit or charm, depth or reason with every post. But I do have soul, emotion, and honesty. If there’s anything you can say about me, it’s that I’m honest. It is that honestly that compels me to tell people the truth, regardless of what they’ll think of me.

Sometimes that’s not what keeps the relationship going. Sometimes it ends the relationship. I once started a manuscript for a book I titled, “How To Burn Bridges, and Build Them Back Better Again.” Like many other things in my life, it never got finished.

The point of the book was that there are just fundamental splits in relationships. There’s a reason why sex after marriage is a good thing: it’s tough finding out you can’t stand the guy you’re forced to marry because you two couldn’t find a jimmy hat behind the minibar. People can just be incompatible, even after that initial sexumal attractimation shtuff is over.

For whatever reason, I do very well with the ladies. Like, way out-of-my-league well with the ladies. I’ve no comprehension for how this happens, but I’m sure glad it does. Well, to be honest, I have great luck with the ladies for a little while, then they move on. It’s the thing I’ve never understood.

That’s what happened. That’s not all that happened, but it’s all you need to know. My point being, the women move on from me, almost always for the better.

I’ve been thinking about this a lot this weekend, and into the week. Growing as a person, I think I’m finally getting to the point where I can start those reconstruction projects. Not that I think the first one will succeed, it will be started.

Here’s to hoping it’s something that I finish.

A primer on getting the Google AdSense for Search into WordPress

Lookie: a video from Inside AdSense!

I went through a long list of difficult trial and error the other day, trying to get the new AdSense for Search results working in WordPress. After creating a static page, I posted this in another static page, and tried to get it to work.

Google
 

Web

MacStansbury.com

Obviously, now it works, but I’d tried a different template, doing a lot of hacks, then thought I had it all correct. Then, I got an email from the AdSense team asking what I couldn’t make work. In an effort to show how it didn’t work, I found out that I was over-thinking the process.

After creating the static page, WordPress adds breaks (the BR tag) to every line. While I was hammering away at trying to get that working, it dawned on me that I was working too hard at this, and I should’ve done the simplest thing first: created a template with the javascript code in it. Seeing the automatic line breaks in the source code of the page made me realize I needed to stick the javascript Google provides in the source of the page, not the story.

I created this template, which you’ll get if you search in the box above. It’s reproduced here for your copy and pasting and stealing without attribution needs:

<?php
/*
Template Name: Search Landing
*/
?>
<?php get_header(); ?>
<div class="content">
<div class="primary">

<h2>Search Results</h2>
<p><!-- Google Search Result Snippet Begins -->
<div id="googleSearchUnitIframe"></div>
<script type="text/javascript">
var googleSearchIframeName = 'googleSearchUnitIframe';
var googleSearchFrameWidth = 650;
var googleSearchFrameHeight = 1300;
var googleSearchFrameborder = 0 ;
</script>
<script type="text/javascript"
src="http://www.google.com/afsonline/show_afs_search.js">
</script>
<!-- Google Search Result Snippet Ends --></p>

</div>
<?php get_sidebar(); ?>

</div>
<?php get_footer(); ?>

To use AdSense for Search on your site, follow these steps:

1. Most importunely, you need a Google AdSense account, and Google hands them out like candy, so don’t worry about getting rejected. I’d put an affiliate link in here, but Google doesn’t let me. DARN YOU GOOGLE AND YOUR DARNABLE MULTI-LINE JAVASCRIPTS!!!

(Note: this is the desired behavior of WordPress and AdSense, that was just a little joke. Please don’t cancel my account!)

2. Upload the template you just created to your template folder, and name it something like searchresults.php, it doesn’t really matter. Just don’t name it search.php, as that will overwrite the built-in WordPress search file.

3. Create a new static page you want the search results on. You’ll need the name of this page when you create the AdSense for Search code, so make it memorable. Since it really isn’t important to the overall operation of your site, don’t name the page “Search.” I’m not saying that it’ll mess up anything, but it might conflict with the built-in search function, depending on your server. You can see what I’ve named my search results page.

4. Change the page template you uploaded to “Search Landing,” or whatever you named it if you’re being a maverick. On the right side of the page management screen, you’ll see the “Page Tempate” box, and you change the drop-down menu to “Search Landing.” If the template you uploaded doesn’t show up in the list, then check to see if copied it correctly.

The Search Landing template

5. If you haven’t already, get the page you created and enter it in the AdSense setup.

6. Insert the search code in your sidebar template, wherever you want the search form. Test it to make sure everything’s working correctly, then sit back and wait for the filthy lucre that comes with Google ads! Burn some hundred-dollar bills in anticipation.

That’s it, and your results should show up as normal. Next time, no thinking for me!

Which, of course, would be normal.

Comments? Questions? Ask me here.

Look at the former frontpage image by clicking here. The original story with flawed tech is on page 2.

Hugh MacLeod on bloggers

After reading an inciteful post about the blogosphere by Nicholas Carr, I found this written in the comments by Hugh MacLeod:

There are basically two rules of blogging:

1. Nobody is going to read your blog unless there’s something in it for them.

2. Nobody is going to link to your blog unless there’s something in it for them.

These two rules apply to us all, A-List and Z-List alike. If you don’t like these rules, you’re better off finding an ecology whose rules you like better. Life is short.

Truer words were never spoken.

How to keep spam out of your blog

I was shamelessly trying to come up with a list for the ProBlogger group writing project, and I couldn’t think of anything at all. Usually I’m rather witty about these things (ahem), but I was rather stuck. Sadly, my ability to communicate with fish did me no good, either.

Inspiration was found, though, after going through the filters at the other places I write. For the zillionth time at a much bigger blog than this, the moderation queue was chock full a’spam. So, in the interest of me not telling the bosses what to do for the 745th time, I thought I’d throw up a quick and dirty tutorial on how not to get spam in your blog.

9. Close old comments. The chances that somebody’s going to comment on that post you wrote about your summer afternoon in 2002 are pretty darn slim. Shut ‘em off.

8. Make people register to comment. Sounds mean, but it makes it more difficult for the drive-by spammer. Movable Type/Typepad use Typekey authentication, so you only have to register one time, and Dupral lets you have one login for all Dupral sites.

7. Bad Behavior if you’re using WordPress, and Akismet if you’re using a lot of other kinds of blogging systems.*

6. If you’re on Blogger, only accept comments from registered users, and set up the Comment Notification Address so you’ll know when evil strikes old posts.

5. If you own your own domain, learn the virtues of .htaccess scripting. A few lines of code can drastically reduce your bandwidth.

4. Moderate comments so they don’t appear until you approve them. This may not stop the spam from showing up, but it will keep the spam from being effective. WordPress has a great system for this, allowing you to approve comments from users you’ve already approved.

3. Turn off HTML in comments. Even when spam slips through, the effect is negated, as all you’ll see are a bunch of gibberish lines of code the spammers hope would work.

2. Don’t accept comments or trackbacks. At all. I’ve turned off comments here, since they rarely added to what was I writing. Plus, the “no spam” thing.

1. Be totally unpopular, nowhere near the Technorati Top 100 bloggers. That’s really your best bet, and it’s how I keep this place free of spam.

Sigh.

ADDED: And a bonus tip for you linkers in the house (who are awesome, by the way): never send trackbacks. I know, you want your mad blog hits and whatnot, but the spammers of the world are on the lookout for deer-trails, or known vulnerable sites where they can chunk ye olde spam without worry that it’ll be deleted. While it’s entirely possible that somebody my follow a conversation that’s months or years old, the great likelihood is that it’s just a bot following a list of compromised sites.

* I should add, TechZ reminded me of Dr Dave » Spam Karma 2. While it was as effective as a matador at keeping spam out for me, your results may vary.