I opened Microsoft Word, set the font to Microsoft’s Times New Roman, then changed it to Times, then changed it back, then typed the rest of the document purportedly from the personal records of the late surgeon Jerry B. Killian.
And my Microsoft Word version, typed in 2009, is an exact match for the documents trumpeted by Robb Allen as “authentic.”
A screenshot of the “original” document as found at Sharp as a Marble:
A screenshot of my Microsoft Word document:
The spacing is not just similar—it is identical in every respect. Notice that the date lines up perfectly (well, come on, it’s a little crooked, give me a break), all the line breaks are in the same places, all letters line up with the same letters above and below, and the kerning is exactly the same. And I did not change a single thing from Word’s defaults; margins, type size, tab stops, etc. are all using the default settings. The one difference (the red squiggly lines under the misspelled words) is probably due to a slight difference between the Mac and PC versions of the Times New Roman font, or it could be an artifact of whatever process was used to artificially “age” the document (or could be because I forgot to turn off spell–checking).
There is absolutely no way that this document was typed on any machine that was available in 19–whenever–Obama–was–born.
UPDATE: You know what would really make this post sing? Animation!
UPDATE: Not singy enough. Still needs something. Hmm.
Take that mainstream media!
This could be the leader of the free world.
This is why I’ve been doing Dwayne “The Rock” Johnson catch–phrases after every Barak Obama sound–bite over the last year. He’s awesome on the mic, and terrible in the ring. And he likes pie.
If you smell…what Barak…is cookin‘…[cue theme music, cut to commercial]
Or McCain. Whatever.
What I want to know is, aren’t these backwards?
Not much, actually.
This does beg the question, though: which bank is the safest right now? The Bank of Folgers (what with the all–aluminum security features, impervious to squirrels) or First National of Maxwell House (what with the weatherproof security that only plastic can provide). Call me old–fashioned, but I think I’m going with Chock Full o’ Nuts.
“Chock Full of Nuts”? They should call it “Chock Full o’My Investment Portfolio”!
1. Yes, he doesn’t share my views on abortion, but so what? After all, aborted babies go to heaven. If they grow up, they might go to hell. Abortion on demand is the best form of evangelism ever invented. So, with Obama we’d continue to get over a million babies into heaven year, and Supreme Court Justices to insure that it goes on for another generation. Obama would push for more and more federal funding for abortions, which means we would be using state money for evangelism! How cool is that?! And I’m sure the ACLU would never call him on it. Yes, I know the Bible talks about “Thou shalt not murder” and caring for “the least of these,” but let’s not get legalistic and impose our Christian morality on others.
Even Shrubya’s gettin’ some.
I swear, last week while I was contemplating doing all this stuff again, there was a wealth of material from which to draw meaningful commentary. This week — not so much. Holiday weekend, I guess.
…I wonder if it’s too late to quit again…
Stunningly, “Americans Worry McCain Would Be Too Similar to Bush.” Yes, the concern about the “third Bush term” is so great, I had to rustle up this copycat chart:
How concerned are you that, as president, John McCain would pursue policies that are too similar to what George W. Bush has pursued — very concerned, somewhat concerned, not too concerned, or not concerned at all?
Almost half of the people responding said they were very concerned. Very concerned the steam–roller that is the 21stºcentury US market (that pretty much keeps the world afloat) is going the wrong way. They fear John McCain is going to lead us to Great Depression 2 (Electric Boogaloo). The evidence is everywhere (if you’ve somehow found some, which had been rather difficult, as of late).
If only there was some presidential candidate running on a platform of change!
In the same poll, Barak Obama is believed to be all about change — and that would be a good thing. Because the mere act of changing thing is what we need. So to conclude, greatest economy in the history of man bad, indescribably–vague change—feeling hope plan, good.