[MacStansbury]

Not back, but not dead ferrets

Mac — Sat, 30 Jan 2010 03:00:59 +0000

Nothing to see here, folks. I just can’t let that stupid ferret post be the last thing I ever wrote. Feel free to continue ignoring this blog (like you always have) as usual.

Except for you spammers, of course! I so love you guys! Never give up, never surrender!

fauxtrage, meta

I blame YouTube (Dead Ferret Edition)

Mac — Fri, 21 Aug 2009 20:29:44 +0000

Actually, what I should say is I blame PBS and these idiots.

funny, video, youtube

I blame YouTube (Country Hip-Hop Edition)

Mac — Fri, 14 Aug 2009 01:13:57 +0000

Well, this here be my life. I hate my life.

I hate YouTube.

[via]

funny, music, video, youtube

I ruin worlds (and something about WordPress)

Mac — Mon, 10 Aug 2009 01:00:00 +0000

If you can read this, then you have the ability to read. Thank a teacher or something.

And if you can read this and you are using a web browser, then thank the browser–maker people and the folks that make WordPress. Because that’s what you’re looking at. WordPress.

Unless I’ve changed it to something else, and you are reading this in the future. If you are in the future, what’s it like? We got flying cars yet? Seriously, I wants me a flying car, and I wants it right now.

Or…a robot servant. One that won’t backtalk.

Makes me sandwiches.

I want a sandwich.

Anyways, the site now runs on WordPress. Continue the rest of your lives as usual.

macstansbury, meta, wordpress

How to fix a computer

Mac — Sat, 08 Aug 2009 23:30:18 +0000

Ice T shows you how to fix common problems with your Mac. Today’s lesson involves a slight display problem. Slight content warning for language.

Also, this may void your warranty.

apple, geekery, video

Anecdotal Muzak Story

Mac — Wed, 29 Jul 2009 17:02:41 +0000

Whilst working, early this morning, a local radio station played in the background. Normally a good mix of happy songs, there were some terrible, terrible songs in the rotation for this morning. Stupid, sappy, late–70s love songs. It was horrifying, and it didn’t enhance my effort at all.

As I ate lunch, yet another radio station played in the background. The first song that came on was John Denver’s ‘Thank God I’m a Country Boy,’ so I figured things were not going to get any better. I was wrong.

After I got my burger, I heard the characteristic open sounds of one of the greatest songs in the history of mankind: Shaft!

Yes, I love that song…maybe a little too much. But if loving Shaft is wrong, I don’t want to be right! Or live in the 21st century, for that matter.

Then some hippies (I swear, none of them older than 21, none of them wasting more than $5 on shaving gear in their lives) walked in. After the group sat down, the waitress asked them what they wanted to drink, left, and returned, she asked them if they “knew what they wanted?”

“…besides a haircut?” I added.

Then I spent the next three minutes trying to act like I was trying to get something out of my beard as to cover up my hysterical non–laughing.

Hippies? Shaft? The 70s?

It was funny to me, anyways.

More sounds of shaftness

Feature film version here
Parody version about taxes (yes, taxes) here

funny, music, personal

Sidekick. Dirt. Rednecks.

Mac — Tue, 28 Jul 2009 15:46:13 +0000

Over the course of many years, I’ve had the pleasure of posting many videos on this, and other blogs. But today, I find the rare pleasure of linking to one that must be viewed in it’s own environs, as there is nothing I could — or would — want to add to this great sociological experiment.

Involving rednecks.

And beer.

And a car.

And a ramp.

You can probably figure out what happens next.

“Guy jumps his Sidekick off some home made dirt ramp.”

alcohol, funny, video

Just…don’t ask

Mac — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 05:47:13 +0000

I don’t know what’s going on here either, folks. There appears to be a panda, Shaquille O’Neal, and…well, that’s about it. I figured I’d make me my own personal Demotivator® and see how that worked out.

Click through to see the image at full Shaq–panda–size.

celebrities, pictures

I blame YouTube (MC Vader Edition)

Mac — Mon, 27 Jul 2009 00:26:14 +0000

Is there anything worse than when two of the things you remember from childhood colliding in one sad, sorry YouTube video?

No.

No there isn’t.

I blame YouTube. And George Lucas. And MC Hammer.

music, star wars, video, youtube

Text Ascii Art Generator

Mac — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 18:56:25 +0000

It’s a lot more fun than it sounds, actually.

               __
.-----..-----.|  |_
|  _  ||  -__||   _|
|___  ||_____||____|
|_____|
 __
|  |--..--.--..-----..-----.
|     ||  |  ||  _  ||  -__|
|__|__||___  ||   __||_____|
       |_____||__|
               __ __ __
.--.--..---.-.|  |  |  |
|  |  ||  _  | |_|  |  |
|___  ||___._|   |__|__|
|_____|

Tremendous waste of time found here.

funny, geekery, slow news day, words

I blame YouTube (Revival Edition)

Mac — Sat, 25 Jul 2009 17:10:30 +0000

I’m not really sure if I want to party hard, but it sure beats doing something productive with my free time.

I may or may not post anything ever again here.

funny, music, video, youtube

The Can

Mac — Tue, 21 Oct 2008 00:27:13 +0000

This is why I don’t like Red Bull.

This, and Red Bull is yucky.

Click through to see it…

video, vimeo

MoreCowbell.dj

Mac — Tue, 09 Sep 2008 04:42:58 +0000

Now, you too can get more cowbell. Upload a song, add some cowbell (or Bruce Dickenson, yes, the Bruce Dickenson), and really feel the studio space:


	Make your own at MoreCowbell.dj

I didn’t upload this song, but, hey, come on, it has more cowbell!

All the Internet Memes

Mac — Fri, 08 Aug 2008 21:20:00 +0000

Ever wondered what made the internet so popular? I mean, besides naked pictures of people. The answer is memes.

A meme is just an element of internet culture passed through imitation. Since people have so much free time (or, you know, are supposed to be working on those reports), creation and recreation of funny things takes precedence. The blogosphere is built on memes (most of which I hate).

Thankfully, somebody at Dipity decided to explain where all that nonsense about the cats and the pictures and the misspelled words came from. And an exploding whale. And that song about the Chronicles of Narnia from Saturday Night Live.

This is not going to make anybody more productive.

Click through to see what we wasted our time on instead of the reports (that were due in, like, 30 minutes ago).

(...)
Read the rest of All the Internet Memes (5 words)

The girl in the window

Mac — Wed, 06 Aug 2008 19:54:23 +0000

Wow:

The family had lived in the rundown rental house for almost three years when someone first saw a child’s face in the window.

A little girl, pale, with dark eyes, lifted a dirty blanket above the broken glass and peered out, one neighbor remembered.

Everyone knew a woman lived in the house with her boyfriend and two adult sons. But they had never seen a child there, had never noticed anyone playing in the overgrown yard.

The girl looked young, 5 or 6, and thin. Too thin. Her cheeks seemed sunken; her eyes were lost.

If you can get through the story of Danielle without tears, you are a robot.

And it’s clearance priced!

Mac — Tue, 05 Aug 2008 03:40:32 +0000

If it’s Aircraft Brand™, it has to be good!™

Is that supposed to get rid of smelly aircraft, or just aircraft that have low odor?

Anecdotal Evidence For Life (Plus Food!)

Mac — Tue, 29 Jul 2008 04:37:36 +0000

I am finding more and more material to blog, yet have less time to blog. I may — mind you, I just may — starting to have a life. But the evidence it still circumstantial.
In other news, I am being sent food from Alabama, after Ms. I Have No Idea What To Call Her Any More finally made good on her 2005 pledge to send me banana muffins or something. So if the delivery truck gets here tomorrow and you never hear from me, then you hear the story about a guy in Georgia dying after eating poisoned muffins…well, you know to call the police.

If I post pictures of the muffins, then you’ll know they were awesome. I’m betting on awesome. And reading up on iocane powder.

This will make the second foodstuff from a blogher that I have gleefully consumed.

Don’t make it be the last!

The Horror of “Trapped In The Closet”

Mac — Sat, 26 Jul 2008 04:22:14 +0000

On a lark, I watched R. Kelly’s ‘Trapped In The Closet.’

That was a mistake.

Trust me, stick to everything else in the universe. Once you watch that thing, you can never go back. The messed–up–ness of that video surprises even me.

Using Etymology To Win At Comments

Mac — Wed, 23 Jul 2008 21:34:26 +0000

Etymology:

1398, from Gk. etymologia, from etymon “true sense” (neut. of etymos “true,” related to eteos “true”) + logos “word.”
In classical times, of meanings; later, of histories. Latinized by Cicero as veriloquium.

Until yesterday, I’d never seen this before. Today, after seeing it for the 73rd time, I figured I’d complain about this, too. Please stop doing this, people.

Gettin’ My Hoard On

Mac — Tue, 15 Jul 2008 16:46:54 +0000

Top commodities to hoard. Not surprisingly, oil does not make the list. Also, 4 of the 5 itmes on the list are used to create products that are ‘harmful’ to the environment.

As far as uranium goes, Canada’s got plenty.

My Moves

Mac — Mon, 14 Jul 2008 03:55:51 +0000

Tonight I was thinking about my (many, many) relationships with the ladies, and I remembered the time I was talking to one and referred to “my moves.”

People were wondering why I was cracking up.

My moves.

I’m gonna die alone…